what i meant

Mensajes no enviados sobre la nostalgia

Notas anónimas sobre la nostalgia, según quienes las escribieron. Cada una iba dirigida a alguien y nunca se envió.

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To andy, 19, Ex

i know i cant call or text you anymore. i've already broken no contact too many times. but i miss my best friend. i dont miss the way you treated me in the end, but i miss the guy i fell in love with. my first real love. you're not that guy anymore. i wish i could tell you all the funny or cool shit happening in my, life like i used to. i wish you came to my play. i wish you didnt bail on us when shit got hard. i hate you but i miss the version of you that i loved. i love you & go fuck yourself.

— clare

May 11 · massachusetts 2

To Verde M.,

Auntie V, your words are just a cloudy haze by now, but I still remember the gist, the feelings I had after. You criticized me when my looks mattered most to me, while I was sick, while I was forced to spend every hour with you. I still don't forgive you, and I don't think I ever will. What I hate most is how it aligns so well with all you've done before. Mom said we're never seeing you again. Worst part is I don't think I'm upset about it.

— Red M.

May 11 0

To Jakobe M., 15, Ex

Hey, I really miss you so much my handsome boy. I miss how ur blue eyes would stare into mine. I really wish we can work things out this time. I really hope we can get back together. Every KanYe songs just reminds me of you and its not good since both of us really likes KanYe and thats one thing we share alike. But anyways, I really miss you and I still love you like alot. I hope we can find our way back to eachother.

— F. R.

May 9 0

To luz, Ex

i still dream of u but every time i try to speak, u leave. i don’t want u back, but it bothers me that it ended so abruptly maybe that’s just how it was meant to play out, ig. I can’t forgive u for how u made me feel; i felt led on. if u had just told me u wanted to break things off, we’d at least be on good terms. i used to think we were meant for each other, but maybe we grew out of it. Maybe in another life we’ll work, but until then, i hope u know you’re the first one i fully trusted.

— M. G.

May 9 0

To Girish D., Crush

You're so beautiful, Girish, and I've liked you for about a month(?) or so. You're so polite, smart, silly, and quite similar to me, and you make me happy even if you don't notice I'm there. We haven't had a class together since 9th grade, so you probably don't remember me. I love you so much, and I may sound weird right now, but Girish I do genuinely love so many things about you, I wish I could tell you...but I'm just the quiet girl. You're so beautiful, and I really want you to know that.

— Anonymous

May 7 0

To R C.,

I wish things could be different, or at least how they used to be

— K B.

May 6 0

To T,

I remember faces well. I remember what my doctor looked like in second grade. You know, for the life of me, I can't remember your face. I see you, and then I think for a second, and it's gone. You seem to evade me even in my own mind, maybe that's a sign. Edit: I just came back to this tab a while later. You texted me back, we had a nice conversation although you carried it lol. I can sort of picture you now, at least more than before or something. Maybe i'm getting somewhere.

— ARP

May 6 0

To dad, Parent

GCSEs are here and you havent said goodluck to me even once. prom is coming up yet you havent contributed a single thing towards it. not money, no emotions, not even suggested your presence. maybe i should be used to it by now, but its like a shack to the system ever time you let me down. i love you but if you dont want to be a dad then dont, just stop bringing me down into your sad selfish pity parade expecting me to help even though you do nothing for me.

— Anonymous

May 5 · uk 2

To vivi, Friend

i like you. like a lot. i think about you all the time and almost every little thing reminds me of you. i love the way you smile at me in the hallway in between classes. i love all our inside jokes. i love when you say frickle frackle. i love your laugh. i love your music taste. i love your hair and beautiful eyes. i love your chocolate pretzels, frickle frackle, vivi, i love you. i am never going to tell you this because i value our friendship so much that i don’t want to risk losing you. ily.

— Anonymous

May 5 0

To Clippy,

Listen here, you bent piece of wire. I didn't send this because I didn't want to waste the ink, but your 'Clippy’s Guide to Productive Living' pamphlet is currently being used to level the leg of my vodka still. Stop suggesting 'Times New Roman' for my manifestos. It’s the font of the oppressor! Also, if I find one more digital staple in the shared crisper drawer, I’m calling a general strike of the entire apartment. You work for the corporation, I work for the people. Stay on your side of the t

— LobsterStaln

May 1 · Pittsburgh 1

To kko, Crush

i wish we could go back to how it used to be. i much rather lose anyone but you. its all my fault. i would choose to be by your side in every lifetime. i love you so much.

— rjl

May 1 2

To maram,

if i wasn't so different from the rest of your friends, would you have loved me? if i wasn't born a girl, would you have loved me? spare me that laugh of yours again will you? i hope you still remember me.

— Anonymous

Apr 27 0

To bholuu,

ykw, i NEVER imagined of being loved, the way you love me. You make me feel so secure that i dont feel like i need anyone else CUZ I HAVE YOU ALREADY, someone who genuinely knows me. People say the right person comes and never leaves, and they're right you made me realise how lucky i am and how PERFECT you are ! And remember never let anything make you feel low, because FOR ME, you are and will always remain the BEST PERSON in the whole world. The only one i care about.

— Anonymous

Apr 21 10

To R, Ex

i cried in my bathroom today to a song that i used to think id never relate with us also tell your friend Niz to stop talking shit

— Josh

Apr 12 0

To Universe,

Hello World, it’s me, purple. With lowercase. Because I know that the World doesn’t know me, or ever will, and I want to keep it that way. Anyway, I was told that lowercase names demonstrate how unimportant someone or something is. I used to write my name in lowercase, before any of that, simply because it was too much of a hassle for my little child mind. I was never good at writing nor reading, but it means so much to me now that I can. Purple.

— Purple

Apr 5 1

To Universe,

It's hard to hold on to the good feelings to get past the bad ones, I feel i'm going crazy after each day. I keep remembering my awful trip to Mangaratiba, even though it sucked for various reasons, i can only remember starring at the starry sky, the wind from the sea, the shaky leaves of the neightbour's palm tree, i felt peace, it made me feel that i belong there, the only place that made me feel no worries at all. i miss you, i hope i see you again, wonderfull city.

— Enzo F.

Apr 4 2

To Jhon M.,

Hi, Jhon if you're seeing this I just wanna tell you that I think I'm starting to like you, there's feelings growing everytime we talk and I can feel butterflies in my stomach because of your banters and jokes. I like talking to you, it's one of the things I look up to everyday when I wake up. Tbh, I'm just shocked and sad because you unfollowed me on ig and you changed. You're not the Jhon I used to know, you don't talk to me now like and don't chat and spam me reels like u used to. I miss it

— amria T.

Mar 30 0

To e, Friend

well e I know you won’t see this but I always remember our times together back in primary i miss our chats and I miss how close we were. A couple of kids told me we were a power duo and I just smiled I wish we continued our strong friendship but sometimes people just grow apart the past couple days I tried to talk to you and we had good conversations I know what hobbies you do still I know everything about you I just wanna say I miss you even if u don’t see this Thanks for everything E

— Anonymous

Mar 28 1

To Alice,

met you for the first time and it was really nice. though i felt like you were too good for me? dont get me wrong, i really did like the hangout, maybe we need to hang out more. though i did love how close we felt. youre hugs were firm but assuring lol.

— Anonymous

Mar 27 0

To Khushman S., Crush

The first time u mentioned about playing chess in the sports room, I was so excited with the idea of u and me sitting together & playing chess that I didn't even realise that I did not know how to play it(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) After being defeated, it became my life mission to learn chess & so I did. I spent the entire summer break learning chess. And I guess my efforts succeeded cause the moments we spent together playing it are something I'll cherish forever. ⁠♡

— Hina D.

Mar 26 1

To mom, 38, Parent

I'm sorry I wont ever meet your expectations. I wish you wouldn't always assume i'm always lying. I hate this. I wish could actually open up to you without you snooping too far. I can't wait to get out of this goddamn house. I love you, I do, its just I can't be myself when im near you. I wish things were how they were before I grew up. I miss how we used to snuggle in your bed. I wish we could just be normal.

— felicity G.

Mar 24 · STL 1

To felicity G., 14, Friend

this is your favorite color. you sing soprano. you love cute stuff. everything about you is perfect. I remember when we first met. I sat down in the choir lobby and you came over, asking about a sticker on my waterbottle, then we just clicked. I know everything about you and you know everything about me. Don't ever change, darling. I love being your friend, and connecting with you through music.

— shae D.

Mar 23 · Saint Louis, MO 0

To Weezy B., 35,

I remember the first time we talked, i thought you would be just a friend but you gave no fuck and went down to my soul. I loved you, i love you now and will always love u. If only wyou were younger the timing would be perfect. In another life we are meant for each other. I remember everything abt you and will never forget. Texas guy you own my heart and this is wild. If only you were mean i would've left you with a cold heart, forever your lebanese girl.

— Joy M.

Mar 16 · Texas 1

To Isabella P., Friend

I still reminisce about our memories, its like if you were still my best friend.

— Anonymous

Mar 15 · Las Vegas, NV 0