what i meant

To Kaida,

Its vomit-inducing, really. It’s awful how loving you often turns into parenting you. Its awful how I pander to your complete thoughtlessness while memorizing every detail of your heart and dressing it with infinite thought and care. It’s been two solid years of rocking you to sleep while you hit me with your fists. And the tremendous, burning, unfathomable love that has driven me to utter self-abandonment has finally reached the limit my self-love will allow.

— Anonymous

To Kaida,

Because i hurt and I shrink-wrap it and tuck it away and suffer for you, i tie myself to the alter, I flatten myself below your shoe. And you hurt and you thrash like a toddler in his mothers arms who doesn't necessarily mean to hit her but hasn't yet developed awareness for the people around him.

— Anonymous

To Kaida,

Today we took idrlab quizes and my result said that in my relationships i feel compelled to put on an act to recieve love and so i put disgusting amounts of effort into the person i love while simletaneously resenting them for needing so much effort to give me the bare minimum. And yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

— Anonymous

To Kaida,

Why why why why why why why why Kaida why. Oh kaida id never ever tell you to your face how much you hurt me. How much youve literally ruined my health and my life. The things ive brought up dont even cover half of it. You can never know. Because i want you to be okay and i want you to live. I dont want you to die. I want to fix you i want to save you i want to love you, i love you i love you i love you. Im so mad at you and i will never ever tell you bc i love you.

— Anonymous

To Kaida,

I wish you CARED. i really wish you cared. kynslee and i talked on the swings about how everything is always about you. I agreed and defended you in the same breath. Im always taking bullets for you youd never take for me. I wish youd look at my airbuds. You know music is the only way i can speak without suffocating. I wish you put in even a LITTLE bit of effort. You asshole. My love, my boy, my self-absorbed asshole, i wish you tried for me.

— Anonymous

To You, Crush

You DONT wanna know the thoughts I have of you 😳😳

— me

To You,

Am I allowed to ask you to kys 😳😳

— Me

To You, Crush

I dont hate you, I hate that im a man, I hate that ive transitioned to one. You like girls, but before I knew you I changed from being one. I love you, but its never going to happen. Dysphoria kills me, that I can love a lesbian even though I claim to be a man. But you are one of the greatest people ive ever met, a true angel sent from heaven, you saved my life. And I love you. But we will never happen.

— Me

To You,

I cant believe you blamed me of doing non-consenual sexual things to you, i told you repeatedly that I wasn't into sexual things, yet you go around telling people I've touched you? I haven't even held your hand yet. I wasn't drunk, nor unconscious or anything like that, I have never touched you in that way. You disgust me, I've honestly never met anyone as fucking creepy and weird as you. You ruined my life and played victim. I hate you so so so much.

— Me

To Eman A., 26, Crush

somehow everything feels a little better when I get to talk to you. I love how easy it is to laugh with you and how comfortable you make me feel just by being yourself

— Batman I.

To Nico N., Ex

First of all, I wanted to apologize for what we had. I genuinely loved you, I felt so connected with you and it’s a shame how things went and the idea we both got of eachother. It’s was a turbulent time and none of us knew how to love properly. You never believed me but I never cheated, tbh it hurted me seeing you choose your ex when I needed you so bad. My fav moment of the day was calling you and daydreaming you’d be back in Spain next year to be with me. Pd: I didn’t miss G, I was confused.

— Anonymous

To Goldie S., 27,

I know this rejection has been hard. It hasn't been easy for me either, but I have to protect my peace. Goldie, I still can't forgive myself. Sometimes the pain I feel seems like yours. I don't know how you're doing, but I truly hope you're healing. Wherever you are, stay safe and be happy. This isn't about love, it's about wanting someone I once cared for to find the peace and happiness they deserve.

— Etta

To E, Friend

i would kiss you but i'm scared you don't feel the same. though others think so, i can't risk what we have. i want you, but i don't know if you want me too. we banter and joke but idk if it's just friendly. idk just make it clear for me please. love you

— Anonymous

To A, Ex

I miss my sweet boy so much. I sit and think about how good we were every night. I hate that we will never have that again and just the idea of it makes me sick. You’re the only boy I want and will want. I physically can’t imagine myself with anyone else and I don’t know what to do. It’s always been you. It always will be you. I love you so much Alex. I’ll never stop. I’m sorry. I wish I could stop so that I’d stop hurting you. I wish you loved me back. Like you used too.

— L

To miamia, 20, Friend

you're my bestfriend, i'll love you forever.

— mya

To Ella, Crush

i miss you. i love you. i know that you've changed now, our humours changed and everything did. is it bad that i still find you beautiful? you're straight and i am not. It must be a curse. i thought i could just swoop in again but ofcourse not. my family knows am gay, everyone does yet... i still want you. they all accepted me. dear ella, my sweetest girl. you even had braces on, i just saw it. i was really, losing you, wasn't i? am not ready yet but i also am. it's been 5 months since we talked

— ngoling

To Matthew B., 20,

Yk i think a lot, more than the average person, about how much i love you, how i see a future with you, but i just feel like youve lost interest, you don't reassure me anymore, at least not like you used to, and i know theres a lot going on, but just let me love you, and try to understand why i feel this way, because i cant see my life without you, not for one second

— Anonymous

To Mylah H., Friend

Its so sad that you got hava… And i wish you wouldn't yell at me

— Loki B.

To Tweety,

Just listened to august by taylor swift, and it made me think of you.

— Marcy

To Neia, Friend

I will never find the courage to tell you how I feel. So here I am doing what I can to let this out. I had always thought that you were a “star,” because of how much you burn with passion in everything you do, and I can only hope that no one—nothing ever dims that precious light. But, you’re also as soft as a flower petal. A sweetheart whose love is carried by everyone who loves and ever loved you, for eternity. I adore you. Forevermore. Please don’t try and find me :)

— Anonymous

To ren, Friend

i miss our friendship, and i'm happy you apologized, but i still feel so hurt. you told me all the things you hated about me when i was already in a bad place mentally, and you even befriended the people who have hurt me most in life. it doesn't make sense to me, and i wish i could just understand why you did what you did. but i can't. you made me hate myself. i hate you. i love you.

— mylah

To max,

i hate you. you're a monster. you don't deserve ANY good thing that happens to you after what you've done to me, my friends, and even your past friends and partner(s). i don't think i've ever met anyone more narcissistic and gaslighting/manipulative than you. you KNOW what you did. you KNOW you traumatized me, but you're head is shoved so far up your own ass that you refuse to admit it. i wish i never helped you that night. i wish you were gone.

— Anonymous

To delilah L.,

hi, max let me know that you were the one who told him about what i reposted. i see your reasoning for doing it, but it just ended up causing more harm. i don't think there should be limitations to how much i can talk about a certain subject. you can call it immature, or you can call it stupid, but to me it is nothing of the sort. what max has done to me in the past is insanely important to me because of how deeply it affected and still affects me.

— m

To mom, Parent

i hope you die

— ki A.