what i meant

To júlia, 16, Friend

i miss you and i know i probably dont even cross your mind. you were my best friend. and youve changed so much. i dont know if i know you anymore. if we talked again, would you still laugh at my jokes? would you still listen to my yapping, like i listened to yours? would we still sit in the same bench and eat gummy bears? would you be as gentle as you were? would you still love me if i told you i changed too?

— croqueta

To adrià, 16,

I still look for your green eyes in crowded rooms. Even in schools you’ll never walk into. I miss my bestfriend. PD: I used your favorite color.

— croqueta

To adrià, 16,

i could've sworn you liked me back. i just wish i’d been brave enough to love you out loud. btw i used your favorite color.

— croqueta

To Aish, 17, Ex

hi izzi, as you know, it's me again. it's always me. i wanted to ask you how your day was, but i know you'd reply hours later. why is that by the way? is it me? do you hate me that much? i'm sorry then, i really am. -rhh

— RH

To Izzi, 17, Ex

hi izzi, it's me, again. i miss you, do you feel that way too? i reckon not, i'm sorry for not being enough for you. i hope you're happier now without me present in your life, and i hope to see you succeed in life. but if you suddenly have the feeling of wanting to come back, you know the door's always open.

— RH

To Aish I., 17, Ex

hi izzi, it's me again. sometimes i wonder if i ever cross your mind like you do mine a hundred times a day. -your second love

— RH

To Devon S., 24, Friend

I always think of you. I always pray for your happiness. May God bless you with a wonderful woman, you deserve it. I’m sorry my love was not enough, I’ll always keep our memories close and dear to my heart. I miss you and I miss laughing at your crazy jokes. It always makes me smile when I think about you.

— Anonymous

To valentina, 14,

siamo ancora amiche (o almeno lo spero), ma non so se tu ne sei accorta che non lo siamo più come prima. questo è il terzo trio, terza volta che sono io quella esclusa. spero che un giorno capirai, e mi dispiace se "sono cambiata". mi manca anche a me come eravamo una volta. non ti odio. sai che non sono capace a farlo

— Anonymous

To Rafael, 17, Friend

hi rafa, it's raina. thank you for being a guy friend of mine that actually wants to be my friend too, it's refreshing honestly to have someone like you in my life. i seriously hope you and soph get married soon and i get invited FIRST (well, maybe after relatives and stuff), because seeing you guys succeed in life is also apart of my dream, and i hope i'm still here to see it. goodluck on your SPM rafa, because i know you'll ace it. -rhh

— RH

To Sophia, 17, Friend

hi soph, it's raina. i know we have somewhat of a big age gap, but i want to say that i appreciate you so much for being close to an older sister to me. you're such a sunny and bright person, and whatever is thrown at you, you face it by just being you. to sophia, i wish you and hope you have the greatest luck in your SPM this year, because you seriously deserve it. i love u :( -rhh

— RH

To fazlin, 15, Friend

hi lin, it's raina. i wanted to thank you for putting up with me, for listening to my stories, for lending a shoulder when i cry. you're seriously the only person i feel that would not judge me for things that are genuinely heavy in my life, and that's something a lot of people can't do. your softness is not your weakness, and it for sure isn't a threat to your life. because the strongest feeling is empathy, and you have that, it's something the whole world needs. -rhh

— RH

To Nabilah, 16, Friend

hi bilah, it's raina. i miss you a lot, you're seriously one of the most important people in my life, and that's because you've helped me a lot throughout highschool. whenever things got rough and i felt as if the world was crumbling, you got me through it. i'm sorry i'm not there to help you fight your own battles, and i'm sorry if i ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me your problems. you're one of my closest friends, and that'll never change. -rhh

— RH

To Adib, 18, Friend

yo adib, it's raina. or, as you'd call me, 'budak bocah'. i hope you do well in uni next/this year, because genuinely? your're a really nice guy, funny too. if one day we meet again, it better be an invite to your wedding. -rhh

— RH

To Ellies, 15, Friend

hi ellies, ni raina. i'm really sorry that i was so mean to you last year, and i get that you wanted to be friends with mia too, and i got carried away with my feelings. nevertheless, i really hope you succeed in life, because believe it or not, you really are special, your kindness and softness is not something everyone has, so please. don't let other people use you. -rhh

— RH

To Danish, 17, Friend

hi danish, it's raina. i want you to know that you shouldn't let people use you, and i get that they are your friends, but you shouldn't let that cloud your judgment. you're a really good friend and a good guy danish, but you should stand up for yourself more, because you deserve friends that treat you as an equal, not just as a camera prop. i love you (as a friend) -rhh

— RH

To Fatin, 15, Friend

hi tin, it's raina. i wanted to thank you, for being someone i can open up to when i'm at my lowest. someone i can run to when the world is mean to me. someone who's lent me a shoulder for years now. i'm sorry i go to boarding school, and i can't spend as much time as i used to with you. but i want you to know that i'm so grateful and happy that i have a friend like you. someone i can call a best friend, someone who has the biggest heart ever. i love you, fatin -rhh

— RH

To fateh, 17, Friend

hi, fateh. this is raina, and i wanted to thank you, you know? for putting up with me, for being my friend. i don't know how i'll actually be next year without having you to whine to. i know, call me annoying, just a random girl in your life, but i appreciate your efforts. you're one of the only guy friends i have, and i'm grateful for that. -rhh

— RH

To Aish Izzi, 17, Ex

sometimes i cry by the thought of you never putting as much effort as i did for you. why though? is it because your heart is stuck on your ex girlfriend? your first love? i'm sorry then, for ever trying to give my heart to you. it hurts izzi, please, understand me. why does it have to be like this? why do we have to be like this? -rhh

— RHH

To Mom, 46, Parent

to my mom, i'm sorry i'll never live up to your expectations. i'm sorry for ever yelling at you. i'm sorry for cutting myself. i'm sorry for being selfish. i'm sorry for being the daughter that can't achieve anything. please, forgive me. i love you.

— RHH

To Aish I., 17, Ex

hi, izzi, you probably won't ever see this. but i miss you, you probably won't remember me by the time you even find this. i'm sorry i wasn't a good girlfriend, and i hope if you find someone better, it was worth it. but promise me one thing, you'll keep me in your heart. i love you, KAAI.

— R H.

To bromie slice,

I love you forever and you've changed my brain chemistry in ways you can't even imagine lowkey..! I wish that I could tell you how I feel and how upset get, I miss you (also kiss me all over pls lol laughing emoji)

— Anonymous

To Blue K., 28, Crush

I’m really sorry if you felt "used".. That honestly hurt to hear. I would never use you — that thought never even crossed my mind. From the first moment I saw you, my eyes just lit up. I felt something different. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. You take my breath away without even trying. That day never really ended. You’ve been on my mind forever.. In my eyes you're everything 💙 💙 💙

— Wolf F.

To L J.,

Never knew love at first site nor never been heartbroken. But now i know what both feel like. It was brief but it was the best few weeks of getting to know someone ever in my 40+ years of living. Never knew my soulmate until i met you. Right person wrong time. Wish we could have given it a shot to see what could have happened. Disappointed but get it.

— Anonymous

To yale dummy, Friend

Heyy dummy, js wanted to greet u a very much blessed bday. Tho I wnt be able to send u ths directly since we're "not on good terms" if I may say, but ofc I didnt wana miss a bday so I'll put it here. Yeah, I hope u hv a blessed n great year ahead of u. Stay happy, healthy, n stay w the ppl u feel loved n valued. Js wanted to let u knw tht ure still a frnd to me n I value u a lot as a person. If u see ts u'll knw it's for u. hmu, it wld rly be great to still have each other as a frmd. Happy bday

— Anonymous