what i meant

To Charles S., 18, Crush

You hurt me, yet I still want you so bad. You made me feel so special and wanted. You made me think you wanted me back. How dumb I was to think that you were different from other men. How foolish I was to think you would be better. But at the end of the day you're just a man. I was stupid to think that you wouldn't have hurt me. Cause at the end of the day, who would want someone like me. Apparently not you.

— Anonymous

To R C.,

Ive been thinking about you. Theres so much I wanna tell you. Ive been really deep in thought about alot of things. I wish I could put my thoughts into words and actually process my emotions. I just hope you are doing well, and theres alot I wish I could say, but one day...we'll get there. I hope you have a good night.

— K B.

To jahnarr,

you haunt me even though I know you never loved me. but it was too intimate. reach out someday and give me closure. I wont reach back. im in love with another.

— Anonymous

To Bluejay M., 27, Ex

I'm so sorry I'm sorry for making the wrong choice I'm sorry for driving you away I'm sorry I cared so much so fast you were ripped from me the second everything clicked in my mind now I sit here everyday and think about you over and over and how beautiful my life would be if I got to share it with you you will always be the one that got away you will always be my most heartbreaking goodbye and last kiss. I know I'm hated now and that kills me slowly each day. I just want to hold you. So bad.

— ObiAni K.

To ereth L., Friend

saranghaek eyet aishiteru mwac

— Anonymous

To mark s, Ex

i'm thinking of you and sometimes i read messages back and we were so perfect i dont understand what went wrong but then i realised that maybe i was the only one who actually cared and you were js lying to me all along. i wonder how many girls you were actually thinking about when you were telling me you loved me cos i know it wasn't just me. i have bad dreams about you every night it scares me so much and i need comfort. i guess you finally achieved your goal of ruining me.

— Anonymous

To Josh, Ex

I lowered my bar so low that its embarassing to think I ever cried that many tears over a guy that slept on the floor in a flop house.

— Anonymous

To Mike H., Crush

My world revolved around you and you forced the responsibility of saving your life. The trauma in my life began when you took yours. 25 years I lived with the guilt of not understanding you were asking for help. I was only 16 and thought I loved you, and I had no life skills. No one offered me help, no one asked me to talk about it, no one knew you told me. I've lived with guilt, fear of abandonment, fear of allowing someone to get close to me, and you took my life when you took yours.

— S

To Robert M., Ex

I was falling for you. I know that wasn't the plan. I have no resentment from the choice you made to walk away. I know you've made mistakes in your life, but all I ever wanted and deserved was the truth from you. Instead I got no answers, no explanation, and no closure. I am reminded of this everytime I look at my son and somehow I dont have the ability to hate you.

— Anonymous

To Jason L., 19, Ex

please reach out again. life is short and you are important to me. it's always your choice, but i never want to shut you out. i need you to know the door is ALWAYS open for you. please don't misunderstand but i have to much i want to clarify to you. i just dont want you disrupt your life. i hope we talk again but it's okay if we don't.

— J B.

To someone,

You’re a waste of a human. You cheat , lie , threaten , steal , blackmail . And god knows what. You gave your daughter PTSD . Single handedly ruined your youngest son’s mental state of mind. Didn’t give them a future to look forwards to. Couldn’t create a savings for them couldn’t teach them couldn’t care for them and be there for them. Yet you call yourself a mother and a grandmother ? That title has been no where near earned for you what so ever . You failed tremendously as a mother

— Anonymous

To someone,

People get born into things they don't ask for. Oh, if only my name wasn't in records. If only I knew whose.

— Anonymous

To T, Crush

Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you. But, uhh, otherwise, i dunno. I've noticed the way I write changes with whatever I've read last. Even on paper, I guess, nothing is mine. Not even my style.

— ARP

To Hardy, 29, Crush

First entry this May, to more entries to come! Anw, I had a chance to bond with your mom 💙 my heart is just so happy. If I could, I would.

— Sway Late

To .ru,

i wish i knew where my blood is from and i wish i could believe ancestry.com but i know someone is lying

— Anonymous

To Maxwell, Ex

You had no right to ask them for that. Any of them. They were hurt by it, annoyed by it, and they want to be left alone. The words you thought dripped like honey from the corners of your mouth dripped instead like clotted blood. You are disgusting. I hate you, all of them do too. You were a sheep dressed in sheep's clothing, and you thought you were a wolf.

— ARP

To T,

I was never good at moving on from things. Max, for one. Not moving on from liking them, but moving on from that horrible feeling of betrayal that can only be described by the drawing on my wall. The black and blue and purple one. If only my name wasn't known to some people, if only my name wasn't in records and if it didn't loom over me and make me pick my words, I'd be free. If only I wasn't afraid of coming off to people like Max did to me, I'd be free. If every day was evening at rowing, I'd

— ARP

To T, Crush

Idk if i run my mouth about this website then you might end up seeing this message. I prolly will, but rowing is over and i don't think i'll ever end up in a conversation with you again. Dammit. Damn my social anxiety. Damn my stupid mind and my stupid pessimism. Damn the fact that i only like myself at rowing because i can be free there and nowhere else. Damn hating myself after max. Damn my aggression and damn not thinking before i speak. I don't love war and that text wasn't a bet. Sorry. Cya

— ARP

To Clippy,

Listen here, you bent piece of wire. I didn't send this because I didn't want to waste the ink, but your 'Clippy’s Guide to Productive Living' pamphlet is currently being used to level the leg of my vodka still. Stop suggesting 'Times New Roman' for my manifestos. It’s the font of the oppressor! Also, if I find one more digital staple in the shared crisper drawer, I’m calling a general strike of the entire apartment. You work for the corporation, I work for the people. Stay on your side of the t

— LobsterStaln

To T, Crush

I love you. I wish you knew. I hope you do. After Max, I thought I couldn't love. I thought my only love was the feeling of rowing on the river. You've been so kind to me, more than you'll ever know. Even if it was just being nice. But no one just picks up my glasses off the grass after I get my hat back from R and gives them back to me, especially after watching from such a distance. Idk. That was so effing cool of you and you'll never know. Thanks.

— ARP

To Cyrus,

I guess it all started with a mistake, continued with illusions and ended with nothing. It was just me, all alone, holding a pen to write a script that no one, including you would ever know. From the very moment as you hide behind someone when I saw you, I knew the script must be ended. For the final act of the script, I’ll disappear in your sight. No more monologues from me; no more scattered dialogues from us. Goodbye.

— S

To Erin, 19, Ex

Happy birthday, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday to show I do still care and support you even if you will never speak to me again. I know you won’t see this but I wish you the best of luck.

— Anonymous

To kko, Crush

it was for the better. you did it for your own good. i will always watch you from afar and cheer you on. just know i still care for you. i love you so much.

— rjl

To kko, Crush

even after we parted ways, i kept on looking for you. long after i had already left my own innocence behind.

— rjl