Unsent messages about hope

To someone,

You’re a waste of a human. You cheat , lie , threaten , steal , blackmail . And god knows what. You gave your daughter PTSD . Single handedly ruined your youngest son’s mental state of mind. Didn’t give them a future to look forwards to. Couldn’t create a savings for them couldn’t teach them couldn’t care for them and be there for them. Yet you call yourself a mother and a grandmother ? That title has been no where near earned for you what so ever . You failed tremendously as a mother

— Anonymous

To T, Crush

Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you. But, uhh, otherwise, i dunno. I've noticed the way I write changes with whatever I've read last. Even on paper, I guess, nothing is mine. Not even my style.

— ARP

To Hardy, 29, Crush

First entry this May, to more entries to come! Anw, I had a chance to bond with your mom 💙 my heart is just so happy. If I could, I would.

— Sway Late

To .ru,

i wish i knew where my blood is from and i wish i could believe ancestry.com but i know someone is lying

— Anonymous

To T, Crush

I love you. I wish you knew. I hope you do. After Max, I thought I couldn't love. I thought my only love was the feeling of rowing on the river. You've been so kind to me, more than you'll ever know. Even if it was just being nice. But no one just picks up my glasses off the grass after I get my hat back from R and gives them back to me, especially after watching from such a distance. Idk. That was so effing cool of you and you'll never know. Thanks.

— ARP

To kamil G., 22, Ex

i miss you. i really do, the way you’d cuddle me to bed or wipe my eyes. i miss the way you’d stroke my hair and laugh with me. we had so many jokes. we laughed so much. we were soulmates, but this wasn’t the right time for us. maybe in another life, my heart.

— Anonymous

To Kadence J., 13, Crush

I wish you chose me and not her even though I know she was probably a better choice. I know Im not as pretty or as smart, but I love you more, and I'm willing to fight for it. I will be waiting I hope you know I will be waiting for you to let go. I love you Tiny

— S D.

To Mum, Parent

Mum you say i can trust you with anything but I dont. I haven't told you about my crushes, or maybe Im a demigirl, or that I want to build a website kinda like this one. And theres no logical reason I shouldnt trust you. But I think that if you know about my crushes, you'll overreact & monologue about dating safety. and you'll always be checking my feelings and stuff. and you'll make sure i know internet safety. i should trust you, but i dont. and im sorry. Im just too sensitive sometimes.

— MK

To adri, 16,

i feel pathetic for leaving you so many messages in here. you must think i'm so lame. that's if you've figured out who i am. i hope you never find out but at the same time i would finally be free if you knew.

— Anonymous

To someone,

maybe if i had met you before it would have been fine. maybe we wouldn't be so sad.

— Anonymous

To Allysa Q., Ex

I should've asked you for help when I needed it. I should've told you that I still loved you and still wanted you in my life. It just seemed so hard to fix. You've moved on and it's been long enough that we don't know each other anymore. But I miss you. And I'd get to know you all over again if I ever got that chance. But I know I don't. I'm sorry I was so immature. I'm not 17 anymore. I'd like to believe I'm good now. I'd be good to you.

— Anonymous

To maram,

if i wasn't so different from the rest of your friends, would you have loved me? if i wasn't born a girl, would you have loved me? spare me that laugh of yours again will you? i hope you still remember me.

— Anonymous

To lincoln P., Ex

if you're ever reading this, I'm sorry. I never wanted anything to go the way it did and I'm sorry that it did. I hope you'll see this one day. I'm sorry. please reach out. I miss you.

— someone

To myself,

We literally have a timer on our lives. That's why I'd rather move on and try to do better next, than muddle around waiting for things to improve. But then, things happen and I DO muddle around. It's annoying. It's frustrating. And... It hurts. I just hope that when this pain passes, I can see the rainbow again. It's sad that we have to go through pain, before reaching a place of peace. But, I DO hope that you have more rainbows than pain.

— Anonymous

To Tzvi,

i really hope you never find this, i really hope you dont care that much, i wish i could do something about all of these feelings but i need you for that. I always acted as the ''better one'' like i had already got over you, like if the other he was more important than you, ive been always a mess, i wanted and needed you to fix me even if its impossible, i still want and need you to, im not going anywhere with this. My dogs are okay, i hope youre okay. think about me. please, even if it hurts.

— its obvious

To Tzvi, Ex

I cant express myself well with 500, not even with a book i would, i dont know what im trying to prove, make you understand, know or need but i seriously hope you are as pathetic as i am for you, i adore you but i really need you to stay in the same place as me, i cannot let you go, i will not let go our experiences and the things ive felt, it was too big to ever forget or try to recreate. Im selfish, i really wanted to go on even if it was killing us. Do i really love you? I love you.

— its obvious

To Tzvi, Ex

Your name is so unique, if you ever find this itll be obvious who i am wich makes all of this less special. I love your name, i know you dont like yours, but i adore it. Im probably disturbing your peace by this, im selfish for writing this, maybe youve already moved on and im the prideful one thinking you will seriously spend your time trying to see if i did i love you, wich was one of your biggest concerns. I do, i do love you, and i need you to know that+

— its obvious

To Adrian, Ex

I’m sorry I didn’t show up. I hope you don’t hate me. Idk if you want me around still but regardless, I hope life treats you with the love and care you deserve. I may not be there physically, but I’ll always be rooting for you, even if we forget about each other. Because you deserve nothing but the best. <3

— Anonymous

To Lily M., 13, Crush

Lily I know we’re still friends, but we’re JUST friends. I know it’s selfish of me to want more even though you like someone else. I know you think of me as just your best friend, but I don’t know how long I can keep acting like I don’t love you. You always speak so casually, telling me how much you love me. I know you don’t mean it like that, but I still cling onto that little hope that just maybe you really do love me back. I love you, please don’t ever leave me.

— Skylar M.

To bholuu,

I wish i had the chance to never let you go.

— Anonymous

To R C.,

I soooo soooo badly wish I could visit you at the hospital. I wish I could show you that I care for you the way you care for me. I wish my situation didnt make me feel so restricted when it comes to things like this. Im sorry this is happening to you, im worried for you, I just wish you knew. One day ill be able to be there for you in the ways you want and need and im extremely sorry I cant do that right now. This is making me feel so bad. I hope you feel better soon. Stay healthy for me please♡

— K B.

To Nyx C., Friend

It's not your fault, I was just overthinking everything. I don't believe you tho, were you excited to see me or him? I should've never said anything,and I'm sorry for being "rude" that's just the way I am.

— Anonymous

To J P., 16,

I really miss you and your smile so so much, you have no idea how much I yearn for you. I miss your beautiful eyes, I miss the way you would look to me across the room, I miss sitting behind you watching as you searched up Shrek images while being silly. There isn’t a day I don’t think of you or go my day without getting a glimpse of you darling, you’re my beautiful boy, I hope you think of me every once in a while. I miss you my “snow cone.”

— K L.

To Hardy, 29, Crush

I don’t even know why I did that, just to see you. I know you don’t really care, but at least I got to see you. I even went up to your room after three years. I know it was wrong, especially since I’m in a relationship. Still, I kept everything to myself. I’ve hidden these feelings for 15 years, and somehow they’re still here. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to tell you, even if I already know this love is one sided.

— Sway Late