Unsent messages to a friend

To lilli, Friend

i think about what i did everyday. and whats worse is that its all my fault. im sorry i couldnt be the friend you deserved. im sorry you had to find out from someone else. i remember that first day of highschool too. you were my first friend. i wish we could go back then. miss you lil zee.

— m

To short flower, Friend

yoaw. well that sucks. ig i actually fucked up. idk why u specifically requested to switch me out as ur partner so i was grouped with the guy that makes me uncomfortable but i hope its better now. uh. yeah. i think hes going to make my life miserable and i miss having conversations with u. ive been wanting to ask smth btw. are we actually friends. or do u js care bcus u feel like u have to. bcus of ur need to help ppl. either way, i hope ur okay. as long as ur happy.

— apple

To Maddie, Friend

My best friend of nine years, going on ten next year. Man, I’m so thankful to have you in my life. I could go on and on about how awesome you are! You’ve been with me through thick and thin, as I have with you. We’ve made lots of memorable moments together, and that makes me happy. It makes me really happy knowing you see me for me. You know what made me what I am, you know my interests, you know almost everything! As I have with you. I hope this friendship lasts a lifetime, I really do. :)

— Anonymous

To Julianna, Friend

Heyyyyy Juju! Hope life’s treating you good over there on the coastal side. We miss you!! It was always fun hanging with you, going to city events and indulging on some good food together. I hope to see you again soon! Whenever fate decides to connect one another or whatever lol

— Anonymous

To Amaya, Friend

I don’t think we were ever friends. Not at all. And I don’t think you’d be willing to revive the friendship with me either. You say we’re friends, but I think you only care about the ‘drama’ that occurs in my life. You don’t care to know about my day, how life’s been treating me, or about me in general! That’s sad. And yet, I’d go beyond lengths to understand you, to treat you the way you want to be treated, and not keep you around as an inconvenience. But you wouldn’t know that. Of course not.

— Anonymous

To Amaya, Friend

You’re pretty loved and talked to a bunch for someone who claims to be oh so lonely and unloved. We both know you’re not. The group wouldn’t agree on that either. You have lots of people around you who you could talk to, hang out with, and make memories with. And I’m happy for you. What I’m not happy about is you falsely claiming that you’re unloved and utterly alone. That’s such a lie. You don’t know what it truly feels like to be alone and unloved. But you don’t care to know that, now do you?

— Anonymous

To a friend,

im srrsly considering kms. ik its the easy way out but i dont rlly care. my absence is never noticed when i leave the room, im so lonely. im so tired. ive already stuck around too long and if i reach fourteen idk if ill ever end it.

— apple

To B N., 17, Friend

I miss you i love you pls text more i've been longing for 7 Yeats don't leave me hanging (also tell your car that it's loved by me)

— A S.

To E K., Friend

I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it. and I fantasize about a time you're a little fuckin' sorry and I try to understand why you would do this all to me you must be insecure, you must be so unhappy.

— Anonymous

To A, Friend

please come back, it had to be real. you did care for me right? where are you now? why can't you stay consistent its killing me. im so alone, man. you're all the family ive got

— apple

To alicia, Friend

i’m sorry about what i did, i really didn’t mean to hurt you and i just wish we could be friends again. i miss sharing music with you, without you i feel like something’s missing

— Anonymous

To L B., 15, Friend

I did mistakes I know. The worst kind you could ever imagine of. I’m so so sorry for what I’ve done to you! I don’t know what led me to do that.. I still see the scene when I close my eyes.. I still hear your yearn for help when it’s quiet.. I still remember the fun we had I still remember our funny karaoke sessions I even stopped singing of that… I’m so so sorry for what I’ve done to you! I don’t know what led me to do that.. Maybe it was the evil devil himself?

— Anonymous

To Clayton S., Friend

i miss you. we were never together, but i always felt like there was something between us. i was 16 and too young, so i understood why nothing could happen, but the flirting, jokes, and hours of talking made it hard to just see you as just a friend. eventually i walked away because it hurt, you lacked communication. it’s been years and i’ve “moved on,” but i still think about you often and sometimes wish you’d reach out. i don’t even know why i still feel this way, but i do and always have.

— A G.

To TabbyCat, 29, Friend

My sandbox lover, Oh how I dread the day I set down your memory. I know I need to. I talk so much trash about people who get swallowed wholly by grief..but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to finish growing up. Go to therapy. Maybe have a kid. We were supposed to have kids and laugh at growing older. Instead. I am alive in your state and you are dead in mine. The last man you knew me to be with, the one I’m sure you thought made me happy? Cheated.

— Anonymous

To A, Friend

thanks for everything. i hope youll be okay. and im glad you cared for me for a while. it felt good. thank you. i wish it lasted longer, but hey, cant get everything right? 1 1/2 weeks were enough. i think i need to go now though. and im not coming back.

— apple

To A, Friend

i guess i was right. it was fun to feel cared for for a while. it felt good. its over now though so i guess i was right.

— Anonymous

To Rebeka, 19, Friend

I wish you communicated instead of doing the bs you did. I wish you treated me better but I’m glad now I don’t have to keep begging for you to put effort. To actually pay attention. You were the bad friend, you were self projecting the whole time. I was hoping you’d change but you didn’t. You became what you hated. Ironic huh? Please take care of yourself, I know you’ll do great in life and succeed. You’ll always be okay. I know it. Thank you for 3 years, you’ll always have a spot in my heart.

— Anonymous

To Veronica, 19, Friend

I wish you let me respond instead of blocking me mid plane flight home. I wanted to say goodbye but you didn’t let me. I wanted to tell you this. I love you so much, I’ll miss you a lot but I’ve let go now. You’ll always have a special place in my heart, I know you’ll succeed in life. I know you’ll live a happy long life, thank you for blessing me with 4 years of friendship, I’ll never forget you. Please live well, IK you don’t need me to tell you that but, please remember you’ll always be okay.

— Ri

To gcm, 15, Friend

fuck, gianna. You really dont care. You havent though about me at all apparently. I miss you like hell. I could cry. I probably will. I smoke now. Cigarettes. Youd be disappointed. You were my best friend and theres a you shaped hole in my heart. I know you dont miss me bc you have arl and shes definitely replzced me by now. I feel like i could die. I miss you more than i ever have right now. I wanna text you so bad. Please remember me. Please, please, please. I dont know what to do. I miss you.

— rrerht

To alt, Friend

woah this webnstie seems quite cool

— Anonymous

To Roshni S., 16, Friend

I never felt like me when i was with you. It felt like i was performing and lived on the edge.you'd get mad at small things which i didnt know happened. Im sorry but i can read minds. Thanks for being there for me tho. Thanks for helping me and overcome my fears maybe that was what you thought of our friendship too. U tried to reach out but im sorry i cant do it. I hope you move on. And again im really sorry for not reaching out but i hope you get whatever you want in life!!

— Anonymous

To Malina M., Friend

I didn't know if u wanted to be friends with me. You went off with the person you told me u didn't like cuz they talked bad abt me. Not only that, i was never the option for you. You never trusted me. We had so much nice memories but the disrespect got louder. I was insecure cuz as u making fun of my appearance. That insecurity got to a level where i never went out wtout mask and never took a photo of my self. I missed out on so much memories cuz of that stupid insecurities i didn't know existed

— Anonymous

To a friend, 17,

i swear i try to be cool about it but they keep leaving me out. i know im the one that changed schools but i still deserve to be included. the worst part is that they dont even notice, or they say that now ive got "new friends". honestly, i just wanna be fucking included, i dont care if i dont really wanna go (cause i end up wanting to leave anyways). but im tired of them thinking theyre the ones who were abandoned when they dont know what it feels to start all over again and be the new girl.

— lia

To My friends, Friend

I wish I could despise you for treating me that way. Everything is falling apart and I dont know why, I just need a friend, anybody. I dont know if im gonna be alright, theres something wrong in my body, I dont wanna die, I needed just a bit more time to fix stuff, I hope everything will be alright. This summer was perfect, I wasnt expecting this to happen. Im getting karma for simply being alive. The doctors dont know whats wrong yet.

— Anonymous