what i meant

An unsent message to Lara S.

Written anonymously and never sent. More notes from the wall are below.

An Lara S., 18, Ex

hey lara, immer denke ich, ich hätte so viel zu sagen, doch in dem moment, in dem ich die möglichkeit dazu bekomme, fehlen mir die worte. ich wollte immer nur, dass du glücklich bist. ich wollte nie unfair zu dir sein oder deinen frieden stören. du hast recht, ich hätte euch in ruhe lassen können, aber meine liebe zu dir hat es mir damals schwer gemacht, loszulassen. ich hoffe wirklich von herzen, dass ihr glücklich seid. alles, was ich jemals wollte, war, dass du glücklich bist, lara. auch wenn unsere wege getrennt sind, trage ich dich noch immer in meinem herzen und wünsche dir aus tiefstem herzen nur das beste. ich werde dich immer lieben, auch wenn wir es am ende nicht geschafft haben.

— Sina A.

2 hr. ago 11

Replies1

  1. You carry so much emotion with you. I hope you heal from what makes your hurt.

    Dk ·

Replies are public and anonymous. Be kind.

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An Lara S., 18, Ex

hey lara, immer denke ich, ich hätte so viel zu sagen, doch in dem moment, in dem ich die möglichkeit dazu bekomme, fehlen mir die worte. ich wollte immer nur, dass du glücklich bist. ich wollte nie unfair zu dir sein oder deinen frieden stören. du hast recht, ich hätte euch in ruhe lassen können, aber meine liebe zu dir hat es mir damals schwer gemacht, loszulassen. ich hoffe wirklich von herzen, dass ihr glücklich seid. alles, was ich jemals wollte, war, dass du glücklich bist, lara. auch…

— Sina A.

2 hr. ago 11

Para alguém, 17,

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To Gio R., 16, Friend

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To you,

dear stranger, i hope you’re doing well.  even if you are not, i hope things will get better for you soon.  you’re enough, always enough and always will be and have been. you matter, you matter more than you know. you are enough, just as you are, with all your flaws and imperfections. you deserve to be loved and chosen. i hope you find serenity in a world you may not always understand. i hope you heal from the things no one ever apologised for.  i hope you heal from the pain other people have…

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Im sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean to. This is all I can give: my words and my intentions. I can’t give beyond that.  Just know I’m hurting too. And since this is clearly hurting the both of us, I’ll go. I was considering blocking these websites on my devices, but I think I have to take that step. My intention in saying this is not to threaten but, at the very least, not to cause further hurt for either of us.  I know it’s up to you if you believe me or not, just know that I…

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To Hey,

Can we talk? I’m scared bc I can’t tell if the phone call we had is connected to these messages or not. I’ve felt disoriented about reality and it’s bringing up a lot of things from my past. Things that I’ve worked through in therapy, I’m very scared. But if this is really you, then I don’t want you to over think either. I just need clarity 😭

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