what i meant

An unsent message to Tatum

Written anonymously and never sent. More notes from the wall are below.

To Tatum,

I’m looking up at the stars right now, I hope you’re still as in love with them as you use to be. I love you. You’re as pretty as any constellation could want to be.

— Xander

58 min. ago 0
Write a note

To direct plz,

no more of this indirect shit. say it with your chest. i know you can. Ive seen plenty of your writings, so i know you can do it, i believe in you pooks ;)

— Anonymous

11 min. ago 0

To mom,

you honestly make me want to die. i hate watching you treat my brother so kindly right in front of my fucking face. i wish you enjoyed being a mother, you make me feel guilty for being born. i promise to write you a check of exactly how much money you've had to spend on me so that you have absolutely jack shit to hold over my head

— daughter

17 min. ago 0

To waitingggg,

ready for your response whenever you are since "I'm still going to respond to all your half assed attempts to be friends" unless the conclusion is obvious? lmk... i sense that there *might* be an advantage to things ambiguous... more maneuverability

— stillwaitngg

21 min. ago 0

To Jimena,

Missing youuuu

— Anonymous

24 min. ago 0

To someone,

a small part of me still misses you, and that makes me so uncomfortable. i wish you just killed me rather than leave me with all these memories.

— someone else

27 min. ago 0

To Alice J., 19, Sibling

Never forget how brilliant you are.

— Anonymous

35 min. ago · Brasil 0

To nicholas w,

it's been a while since i wrote in here. i try not to think about it but it slips through here and there. right now, im in one of those "here and there" moments. i was just finishing up a craft ive been working on while listening to music, and one of our songs came on. it hit me weirdly, yk i don't ever listen to "our" music when im not with you. it creates this uneasy impending sense of doom feeling. i hate how badly you ruined a lot of music for me. i will always hate you for what you did to…

— maja k

36 min. ago 0

To Tatum,

I’m looking up at the stars right now, I hope you’re still as in love with them as you use to be. I love you. You’re as pretty as any constellation could want to be.

— Xander

58 min. ago 0

To Sullivan W,

I love you. My phone broke and I lost your info, but I'm still your Tea, Nomi.

— Anonymous

2 hr. ago 0

To punk,

pull the trigger and lets finish this

— mouthy

2 hr. ago 0

To punk,

then go on then! leave! no need to wait for me since my efforts are so "half assed and one-sided". i trust you, your judgements and your perception on the situation. it sounds like you have all the info you need to make a good decision, right?

— mouthy

2 hr. ago 0

To Carol,

You told me "goodnight beautiful" and my heart skipped a beat. It was the first time I told u I had an ed. And yet you made it seem so...natural? I didnt feel guilty in the least.

— Her

2 hr. ago 1

To bhoomi,

i dont want to be friends anymore. i stopped wanting to when i slowly saw how one-sided it was. i didnt expect a lot from you, but i wish you didnt lie and blame me. im still going to respond to all your half assed attempts to be friends but my respect for you is dwindling and i saw how you treated nandini and raavee and khyati and khushi and how you're treating me now with mansi. hate you forever

— Anonymous

2 hr. ago 0

To dadu,

im going to get myself back up. im going to do it for you

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 0

To Tatum,

I just got ft with your mom, she was showing me pictures and she pulled out THE dock picture. I forgot that existed, god that was so amazing. She looks rough, I feel really bad, I might have thanksgiving at your place like old times. Remember when we use to go out in the corn field and stargaze? God I miss you. I’m starting to forget your face and the pictures really reinforced that. I love you so fuckin much

— Xander

3 hr. ago 0

To someone,

It’s all my fucking fault. If I would’ve just been nicer, if I would’ve just let her stay, if I would’ve just shut the fuck up she’d still be here.

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 1

To someone,

I thought it was all a huge nightmare and that she was fine and just ignoring me

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 0

To someone,

I don’t think I told you this because I haven’t told anybody. Tatum and I were fighting, and kinda not talking, that night I came home, she was at my house I was upset she was there and told her to leave, she kept apologizing for what she did and I told her I wasn’t going to ever forgive her.

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 0

To someone,

Because I didn’t think it was real. I didn’t believe it actually happened for months. I’d still text her and actually got mad and thought she was ghosting me, it was like December when it finally it me and I hardly went to school after that.

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 0

To my headache,

it will never be enough, will it? i talk to tons of people all day and know how to navigate this shit. its literally my job if i don't give exactly what you want, then I'm a bitch, I'm cruel, i don't understand, and on and on and on. yet, when i leave, that's when you seem to "love" me the most and the best, apparently... why is that? is it because the idea of me is easier to shape the further away i am? the images, poetry, and symbols are easier to tolerate (and shape and curate) than living…

— mouthy

3 hr. ago 0

To someone,

Like the 26th was our dumb Halloween dance then the next day she passes and it’s never mentioned or anything, I still just don’t understand I hate to try and act like I’m accusing you of anything because I’m not grief hits everyone differently it’s just something I’ve always found confusing. I remember that week vividly and I did end up becoming sick a couple days later but still I never saw a change in you, maybe I was blind.

— Anonymous

3 hr. ago 1

To someone,

I’m not trying to say anything at all it’s just kind of weird that you never reacted at school or told any of us I mean you went to school a day after it happened and no one noticed how?

— Anonymous

4 hr. ago 0

To someone,

I thought so too for the longest time, I was wrong, she died 27th, her funeral was November 24, I mixed the days, I know it’s shitty.

— Anonymous

4 hr. ago 0

To someone,

I thought she died October 24th

— Anonymous

4 hr. ago 0