what i meant

An unsent message to Abhishek B.

Written anonymously and never sent. More notes from the wall are below.

To Abhishek B.,

I wrote about you again...

— Anonymous

1 hr. ago 0

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    To nadia, Parent

    mom, you’ve completely ruined my life. not only mine, but hanks, kelly’s, and dad’s too. you’ve only caused pain, suffering, and a deep rooted bitterness in all of us. i did love you once upon a time, and maybe part of me still does, but in recent years—i haven’t even been able to find it in myself to hug you. every time you so much as graze me i’m overcome with a profound sense of disgust. all i feel is rage, but beneath that is sadness. i grieve the mother-daughter relationship that we…

    — Anonymous

    6 min. ago 0

    To jodie, Friend

    you are a beautiful soul

    — Anonymous

    9 min. ago 0

    To Kaleb C., Crush

    excuse me ummm.... I love you!!

    — Anonymous

    48 min. ago 0

    To Abhishek B.,

    I wrote about you again...

    — Anonymous

    1 hr. ago 0

    To Rae,

    I pray you are doing well… and that you decided to live. I don’t know you really but I’ll love you to the ends of the Earth if it means you’ll be fine.

    — L

    2 hr. ago 0

    To Francis B. B.,

    I love you. No, I'm not going to kill myself. no, this isn't just random either. I'm worried you won't be here in the future, I'm worried that I'm too clingy for you, I'm worried you'll get bored of me and leave. I try to talk to you daily because silence feels wrong. I know I vent a lot, I know it's probably irritating that you have to comfort me all the time, but I can't help but worry daily that you'll be gone tomorrow. Im afraid we will just.. fall apart. I get jealous of faun a lot and I…

    — Anonymous

    3 hr. ago · America 0

    To Daddy, Parent

    I miss you. Sometimes I say your name out loud because I miss hearing myself say it. You were the glue that held us together. My angel, I miss you.

    — Anonymous

    3 hr. ago 0

    To Casian,

    You make me so incredibly depressed. All I wanted was to impress you, or at least weirdly fascinate you. Yet you intimidate me so easily. I act like I don't care, but you're the reason I can't focus and keep drinking. Do you know that one scene from Monsters VS Aliens when the jelly guy shakes a jelly pudding to intimidate someone else? That's exactly how I think God plays with me by bringing you into my life, because I clearly cannot have you. You have some other girl in your heart, I know…

    — Anonymous

    4 hr. ago 0

    To K, Ex

    Someone told me the other day that they saw you. It hurt how they were talking about you, but there’s not much I can do anymore. I hope you’re well. I genuinely hope everything is working out for you in life. I’d be lying if I said I don’t think of how life would be rn if I were better. Oh well. I hope you’re happy dude. Stay strong, and keep your chin up. I’ll be proud of you, even if from a distance. Ilyfaa doop.

    — A

    4 hr. ago 0

    To someone,

    I’m so scared I think I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do

    — Anonymous

    5 hr. ago 80

    To Preston,

    Don't keep those girls in the closet, I beg you.

    — Anonymous

    6 hr. ago 2

    To Bheki,

    I DONT LIKE U, I FEEL BAD, BUT BUR GETTING FREAKY

    — Anonymous

    6 hr. ago 0

    To someone,

    I’ll keep waiting for you even if it takes years. You’re the only one I will ever love.

    — Anonymous

    6 hr. ago 1

    To topher,

    I know soon you'll be near & I hope that when you step foot in this town all the places you go remind you of me so that you carry that guilt and shame with you. I truly hope that it overshadows your trip back, It's been a horrible year and the cherry on top was hearing that you were coming back. I hope that you never find love so that no one ever has to put up with your bullshit ever again, you are still a coward and will probably remain that way for the rest of your life. I tell people all the…

    — yk who

    6 hr. ago 0

    To Everybody,

    Sup everyone

    — Coolguy

    7 hr. ago 11

    To Varunnn,

    I hope we don't have any secrets between us. I hope we could communicate properly

    — Anonymous

    7 hr. ago 0

    To Esther,

    I hope your doing well ill always forever wish well for u i wish instead of letting of our friendship u thought about giving it some space or try to atleast be friends or normal friends. I know me approaching u again and again made u feel uncomfortable but I wish u tried to see what was going in my heart and how much hurt I was. But finally now I can say I have peace I have learnt to let go maybe ur more happier more successful without me and that's all i wanted u to be even though it was not…

    — Suhie

    8 hr. ago 0

    To someone,

    Do I actually like you or do I like feeling something

    — Anonymous

    9 hr. ago 1

    To Sterling,

    You really confuse me. Just take the hint. I like you, idiot.

    — Anonymous

    13 hr. ago 0

    To Colin ig,

    thanks for being the first guy i liked that i couldnt be actually mean to. your just too cool for that ig

    — Anonymous

    16 hr. ago 0

    To Emil,

    I’d just like to know how you actually feel about me. I mean, you went behind my back and said you didn’t care about me and didn’t want to have anything to do with me just days after I dedicated you a bday letter, let you vent to me and you told me you really appreciated me so… it’s just a little confusing. I don’t even hate you for it or anything I just want to know.  To be 100% honest, I liked you. There’s something about you I guess. But I also resented you cause you often hurt the people…

    — Anonymous

    17 hr. ago · SD 0

    To Silas, Ex

    i saw you at the party btw. i'm sorry i ignored you, i'm so sorry for everything. i am just so scared and i miss you so much. i miss what we had. it meant so much to me, and i hope it meant something to you too. if you ever call, i'll always answer. and if you ever want to try again i'll try my best. and i do truly hope she makes you happy. we weren't perfect, but we were something, weren't we? i can't stand the thought that you hate me, please don't hate me. i could never, ever hate you. i'm…

    — Anonymous

    18 hr. ago 1

    To Ray, Ex

    Halloween has come & gone, it’s been weeks since the break up…I’m doing better mentally with the help of our friends & the family I’m closet too. After talking with our friend who u confessed to first over when u first had a crush on me before we dated, I realize you probably won’t change…and will repeat this again & again. I miss u but I don’t think I could date u again even if u did come back into my life…u hurt me so much & even if u do realize what u did & how it was wrong alongside how…

    — Anna

    18 hr. ago 0

    To Whoever,

    Hi, i just needed to spill my heart out or something. I don't like anything about myself. Literally nothing. Yeah I like my friends and family or people I care about. Obviously. But at the same time I just get so upset that I cry every night. I hate it. I make these pretend fights with my best friend but at the same time I'm scared. I'm scared to actually hurt my feelings or I feel bad about what I say. But at the end of the day, I feel like they take it as a joke. Even if I apologize or they…

    — Angel

    19 hr. ago 22